Rump: Make America Great Again!

Only I have the vision. Me. Rump.

They say that a name is a kind of destiny. Hi, I’m Donald J. Rump, and I’m running for president.

What’s my plan for America? Back it up, flip it, and reverse it. It’s well known that the R in Republican stands for Reverse. To make America great again, we have to go backwards.

Okay, maybe a woman can be vice president—but only if she’s really good looking, like a booth babe at a car show, Ms. America, or whatever. Rump Lopez 2016? Rump Beyoncé? I have an exploratory committee looking only at the Top Shelf.

Right now, America is a like dog with worms. The problem is “the worms have a vote.” But in my vision, somebody would reach up into this country and deworm it—only then will America be happy to get “stuck” with me. I could reveal more details, but they might make you sick.

The point is: Rump. Make America Great Again!

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Rump Make America Great Again

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