The Top 10 Questions of the Week

10.

In light of climate change and the number of electric and hybrid cars that are now available, if you buy a brand new gasoline powered car today, are you automatically made an Honorary Asshole for Life?

9.

When the tags #BlackMonday and #BlackLivesMatter meet at a cocktail party, is the conversation marked by long, awkward silences? And does #BlackMonday breathe a sigh of relief when #BlackFriday finally arrives?

8.

In Star Wars, if the Empire offered stock options, mutual funds, and 401K plans to the Rebels, wouldn’t Luke have avoided destroying the Death Star and instead extolled its virtues from the relative comfort of his retirement home in Mos Eisley?

7.

When Donald Trump said that Megyn Kelly didn’t do a good job at the Republican debate because she had “blood coming out of her wherever” was he just trying to connect with her because blood was coming out his his wherever?

6.

Are all the trolls on the Internet really Donald Trump?

5.

Why would Jorge Ramos be told to “get out of my country” by a Republican, when everyone knows Republicans welcome all people, regardless of race, to succeed on their own merits while celebrating White History Month?

4.

In Jimmy Carter’s next life, will he finally realize that the right way to live is with a garage full of guns, SUVs, OHVs, jet skis, Coors, and porn?

3.

Doesn’t Banksy know the proper way to monetize people’s sadness is not to make them see the distractions from their sadness as sad, but to make people feel happy, so as to perpetuate both their sadness and their need for more theme park rides?

2.

With Europe flooded by refugees escaping Iraq, Afghanistan, and Syria, might America consider converting some its black site prisons to luxury refugee hotels sponsored by the American Express Black Card?

1.

Would more white people celebrate Black History Month if it were sponsored by the American Express Black Card and you earned double points during the month?

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