Danny Lama, little known brother of the Dalai Lama, gives advice to our readers. Catch wind of his crazy wisdom. This week: Birthday Lingerie and Belittling Minorities.
Is it cool to give my girlfriend lingerie for her birthday? I already bought it, so that kinda blows my budget anyway. —Birthday Boy
It’s actually HER birthday! So, as much as you think celebrating her body by adorning it with lingerie is, like, totally in the spirit, I urge you to reconsider, man.
But while we’re here, let me just say that when it comes to lingerie, SHE has to feel sexy in it, and a crappy piece of polyester won’t work, okay?
Also, you have to change the sheets, man. Or buy new ones—again, quality fabrics.
The point is, don’t tell her a present is for her when it’s really for you.
Now if she’s really into lingerie herself, and it really is for her, then it’s totally cool.
My girlfriend says if we’re talking about politics with friends and I pat her on the head three times while saying her name three times, it’s belittling. Also, I’m apparently not allowed to call her family minorities? Seriously? —”Belittling”
Here’s the thing, the fact that you’re taller than her is NOT an accomplishment. And you’re not just belittling her, okay?
It’s more like, in your mind, this is a zero-sum game where she can’t, y’know, be worth anything without it taking away from your worth. And she can’t be an authority on anything without it somehow taking away from your authority.
It’s sad, man.
And yeah, you can’t use the term minorities like a passive-agressive put-down for the same reasons.