Top 10 Questions of the Week

Comic relief from this week’s headlines: Our Top 10 Questions of The Week!

10.

Does the controversy around Ahmed Mohamed’s clock prove that Flavor Flav’s clocks were far more transgressive and poignant than any of us ever imagined?

9.

In light of the fact that wearing glasses failed to change everyone’s image of Rick Perry, after he dropped out of the presidential race did he stomp on them screaming, “Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!”

8.

When Ann Coulter said, “How many f—ing Jews do these people think there are in the United States?” was she just quoting a math problem in a Texas textbook?

7.

To make the Republican primary more interesting, will Carly Fiorina and Donald Trump agree to do a face swap à la Travolta/Cage in Face Off?

6.

When will Donald Trump admit that his bid for the presidency is modeled almost entirely on Lord Business, President of the Octan Corporation & The World?

5.

How many people who searched for Butte Fire accidentally typed Butt Fire and discovered a whole new world?

4.

When can we expect a decline in the use of fire imagery in advertising due to people correlating it with the latest fire to consume their community or the most recent continent-wide inferno?

3.

With a worldwide mass extinction happening right now, what does it say about modern life that you’re unaware of this fact until a movie about it comes to a theater near you?

2.

Have we lost our marble and need to see a shrink?

1.

If you created a venn diagram showing those who opposed the creation of MLK Day and those who celebrate “National Cheeseburger Day,” how many million white Republican men would be in the center of that diagram with cheese running down the middle of their butt-chins?

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